Saturday, October 20, 2012

Life of a ....


It is back again and like all the times, it brings a new day with it. I lie under this tree, in the heavenly pleasure of early morning sleep and his rays touch my closed eyes from the gaps among the tree leaves.

Another day, another adventure…..

No matter how soon I wake up, I always see brother, up and fresh. I wonder whether he sleeps at all.
Mother before leaving told us, “Always be together and that way you would survive long”. She left us when we were kids like every other mother does. It took us several months to understand the difficulty of survival, the risks of everyday struggles. We always wished time stopped when we were fast asleep in our mothers lap.

Brother seems to be ready…

When everyday life is a struggle, you got to think of it as an adventure lest you cannot survive it. That has been our secret of happiness, no matter how hard the day was, how difficult to get even a single bite of food, how much tears came out of our eyes as if there is unknown connection between hunger and tears. We learned to look at it differently and are survived this way only.

Now brother with narrowed eyes is approaching me slowly, an indication that the game is about to start. He took a leap into air and as I jumped aside, he fell down with a thud. I laughed hard looking at his face covered in dirt. He shook it off and made a sudden jump at me. This time I am not quick enough and he got hold of my leg. I tried grabbing his neck but ended up just getting a meek hold of it. It might have inflicted enough pain; he left my leg and moved back few steps. I haven’t let his neck go yet. Now on his four legs he raised himself to two legs, an unexpected move! He dropped himself over me and I am on ground, falling on my face.

He won the fight again like several other times. He is always the stronger one between us but I always gave a good fight. The early day fight is a game for us, an activity, and an exercise that makes us ready for the rest of day. Prepared and ready, for another day’s fight!

After few hours search, we found some food that would keep us alive for some time. Our stomachs are not full but enough to keep ourselves content and happy.

It is now right on the top of our heads and beaming with full power. It’s mid-afternoon, a time even my tree would not give me full protection from it.

Fortunately I found this thing under which I can hide myself and have a good afternoon sleep. It’s not hot under this and I need to be alert all the time.

After what seemed like few hours, a huge man came near this. I know what I am supposed to do; I adjusted myself so it passes from above me without hurting me. I have become expert at this after all these years.
The man drove the thing off, removing my shelter. It is almost evening now and my stomach is ready with yet another request for food.

Another search, another struggle and yet another adventure for sustainment, I thought to myself rolling my body on the ground, “After all this is the life of a stray dog.”


Sunday, August 19, 2012

A great companion on my path arrives...

"If I am thrown to an abandoned desert and was allowed to carry books, it would definitely be Torkom's books"

That's how much his books impacted me. Every word, every line fed my soul.


A month ago I have celebrated my birthday and a person for whom I am one of the best friends gave me this packet.

As I placed my hand on it, I knew...What else can it be?

"One of the most awaited books of my life!" Torkom's Autobiography!

As I opened the book another surprise awaited me. The book has a personalized wishes from Gita Saraydarian (Torkom Saraydarian's daughter).

I did not have any words to express the joy I had at that moment. The book that was in my hands at that moment, traveled thousands of miles and arrived for the occasion of my birthday.

A 760 pages book with vibrant white cover and a very apt subtitle, "Autobiography of a spiritual renaissance man"

A two year old Torkom's photograph greets you in the starting page and his story starts with the chapter, "First Consciousness" and climaxed in the book with, "Interview : The Future of Humanity". We all know his story never ends, the ripples of spiritual aspiration he created would continue touching millions of lives!

As we go into the book, we start an exciting journey. We see life through his eyes, we feel his intense hunger to understand the mystery of life.

Personally, I needed this book at this point of time, to understand what it is like to be a warrior of light, to know what the choice of being one is like.

Like the sun rays that clear the fog, the book cleared several of my illusions. I travelled with him from his childhood till his death and I was there when he is making decision between an easy life and a striving life. I was there when his father is imparting wisdom to young Torkom and I was there when the Sedona temple was built and during his 35 years of service speech. I listened to his final words with tears in my eyes.

As I completed the book, I told myself, "If Torkom did it, I am going to do it and we all are going to do it"

Many times as I read his books I wondered, "How this man lived, it's definitely not a rosy path". I am sure
many of you would be thinking in similar lines and this book answers you.

"Even in an abandoned desert
Without food, water or a guide
Let his books be my my companions
my friends and teachers!
They feed my soul
clench my thirst for wisdom
And
Guide me to my Self." 




Sunday, July 8, 2012

An affair with Poetry


                  "No matter what anybody tells you, words and ideas can change the world"


Lying on my back, on a cold floor that could send shivers throughout your body, I closed my eyes.

Its dark around and only light came from the moon who is struggling to make her presence known among the leaves of the tree i lay under.

I opened my eyes and was mesmerized by the beauty of the moment and i created a poem.

This is the earliest recollection my poetry. 

"Write them on a paper else you will loose them", I remember my Mom warning me.

I never saw her point and thought it would always be inside me. But today, I regret not storing them up. 

But, its always inside me....and here are few words i wrote...which I dare call as poems!!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Two Moons:

Holding her hand I lay under the night sky
Under a thick blanket of stars..
i wonder, are they angels?
Smooth wind blows by acknowledging our presence
I wonder, are they visiting someone?
Looking into her eyes, I said
Stars and wind assembled here to witness  a miracle
Two moons….one in the sky and one beside me


---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Freedom

Free, I was born
Free, I live
As a free man I will die
For freedom is …...
my right, my duty and my destiny.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
a lonely walk, i walk
along the beach, on the wet sand,
allowing my feet feel the waves,
collecting few shells on the way.
Long i have been on this walk
to realize someone holding my hand would make it more beautiful


------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Imagination


I see the sunflower waiting for sun
I feel the cool morning breeze
I hear birds cooing
I live all the beauty of a bright summer morning
sitting here, closing my eyes,
sailing on my imagination...
into my own inside.
I see a whole new world
and I wonder.....
did the world inspire my imagination
or imagination this world!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Truth


Truth many a times is silent
for it does not have to prove itself
Hard to believe?
Observe your heart
it never persuades
it's language a silent whisper
learn to listen
and if you can
your life will be liberated by it's wisdom.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

To the Lord


My Lord, give me the strength to follow the path I clearly see
Give me the wisdom to choose the most high
Shine your light upon me in times of need
Give me your shoulder when i am alone
You are always ready to receive me, with your arms open
Give me the courage to reach you
Even if it means loosing myself and becoming you


----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Last Blink of Life


My eyes closed for the last blink of my life..
All the sunrises….all the moonlights…
All the dreams…all the aspirations…..
All the smiles….all the frowns….
All the dear ones and their love…
Appearing inside my mind’s eye for one last time.
An approval that I have really Lived it….
A tear on my cheek, a smile on my lips….
My eyes opened….and never closed……


----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Best Gift

The most expensive of gifts might get lost
The most beautiful might fade away
The most unexpected can go only so far
If you are thinking of the best gift my friend,
Give a Hug and a kiss on forehead
That! That truly is the best gift one could get,
It touches heart, speaks to soul and is never lost.


---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A Journey, A life

Splashes of water touching my feet,
I stand at the edge of a river,
At the end of a long journey.

I look back over the Horizon,
To Mountains, valleys; uphill and downhill,
All in my heart as memories and lessons.
Images of every life I had the honor to touch
Danced in my mind’s eye

On the other side of the river awaits my love.
Remembering the life I was given to live,
 Satisfaction was bestowed on me.
That I have truly lived it!

With water in my eyes and glowing smile on my lips
I took the step into the river that leads to the other side.
And for the next time, I pray the gods whatever they might be
Not to decrease my load but to give me stronger shoulders.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Note:

Please do let me know what you think about them. It means real something when you get feedback from people whom you can count on.








Friday, June 22, 2012

Who am I?

I am not my personality....I am not my personality....I am not personality....I am not my personality!!!!!

I knew it all along that I am not my personality.But!

Almost an year, i spent my time studying various personality systems. These systems are the tools that would give us a picture of how, what our personality is. How we behave, what motivates us, what demotivates us, what are our natural tendencies etc etc.

Frankly, I did not study them to the depths, but I touched good number of these systems with one hope.

Hope to find Who I am!

But if I am in my right senses, I know I am not my "personality".

And when the something that is the real you growing in you, it would be confusing if still try to derive yourself from your personality.

I need to remember this. Once I go out of this blog, I might again go back to the same notion and again try searching myself in it.

I am not my personality....I am not my personality....I am not personality....I am not my personality!!!!!

Then y do I or people keep searching for themselves in personality?

I think because personality is easy to catch or may be tangible.

Then, How would I go beyond it and catch and hold onto my real self?

That's a question, and I will get an answer soon.

Meanwhile a quote from Torkom....

Modern man hates commands and orders. That is why he does not have willpower, concentration, and discipline. Instead, modern man obeys instantly the urges of his body, sex, stomach, habits, thoughts, and posthypnotic suggestions. He hates to obey a command from his Father or Teacher. 

The more we control our personality, the more the willpower increases within us.


Saturday, June 9, 2012

The Moment in my Friend's life

Today Marks an important day in my friend's life!

In our long lives we meet so many people, some turn to friends, some to best, close and all the categories, some into lovers (yeah, some;) ), and wives..:P

Momentzz...I believe our lives are collection of several moments, right from our first cry to holding hands of our dear ones, crying, celebrating and much more!

I had several loving moments with a friend, who in several untold ways has been a guide, teacher, or even a motherly figure, scolding me!

It is said, love happens in unexpected ways, in the unexpected turns of our life.

It happened to her too in the most unexpected ways. I have been present through all her confusions, crossroads, romantic swings....and boy! it is such a pleasure to witness a love story in making.

One thing I truly realized is, this something called love really happens in unexpected ways. Your loved one might be waiting at any corner or any path you might be taking now or later.

In every love story there comes a moment, when each of them make a commitment...umm...its like a moment where both say to each other that they love each other.They might be knowing all the way from the moment they met each other., but the moment when they decide to spend rest of their lives like one being....its one if the most important one!

Today marks inclusion of that moment in my friends life!

And she gave me an audio file of how she proposed, which includes a song also!

Ohh Dear God, my dear old man...with a white beard!!
Ohh dear Goddess., my dear every glowing, most lovable woman!

You both better see that their journey is filled with love, joy and many blessings!

And I don't see any other option for you!




Thursday, June 7, 2012

Meeting a remarkable man named Gurdjeiff

It's a circular hall with podium in the middle.

Several people were entering the hall and it's announced that the speaker of the day is "Gurdjeiff".

From the people who are entering, you could see legends, masters and several famous people.

and what am I?

At that moment I knew that I am nothing compared to them but I was lucky to be present in the same hall with them.

I humbly sat somewhere in the last and there he is!!

My master. I could feel an instant flow of love, gratitude and respect towards him. He sat in the first row. I picked the book lying in my lap and went to him.

"Master ", I said so politely that some part of me is thinking, "Why i am so polite, loving towards him? What is he?"

"I wrote a book, it is about my life", I continued and handed it over to him.

He opened that book and to my utter horror, "Almost all the pages are empty!"

GurdjieffSensing my insides, He gave a laugh that sounded like a roar.

"This is your life and it is what you write it to be", he said with a calm face.

Few hours Later.....

I woke up!!

Yes, this is a dream!! But one of the rarest of its kind.

Well, I remember the below reactions as soon as I woke up

1. Who is the person to whom i felt so much love, respect towards?
2. What is the strange place where this meeting happened, am definitely sure it is not of this world and moreover it happened in a dream.(May be an Ashram, as told by Torkom?)
3. Who is Gurdjeiff?! (well, he is in the pic for now)

Even today I don't know whether i heard his name somewhere before or for the first time in s dream! (quite strange, huh?)

So, I searched him in Google and found out that he is an extraordinary man who lived an extra-ordinary life.

I tried reading some of his books, but always could not go more than few pages.. (This dream happened 2-3 years ago, so either i am lazy, delusional or both)

Do you see, sometimes you meet people coincidentally, but meeting them in a dream! - its definitely more than just a coincidence..

Time to see if I can read some words written by Gurdjieff, bye for now!

Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Invictus - My favorite poem

Have you ever read a poem, that you knew this is the one you would like to remember and carry with you an entire life?

Well, I have read one such poem named Invictus by William Ernest Henry and here it goes!






Out of the night that covers me,

Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.



In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.



Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.



It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll.
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.